Elephants are very gentle. If you offer one a peanut on the palm of your hand, it won’t grab; it will take the nut delicately with the tip of its trunk without even touching your skin. But its physical prowess is legendary. It can pull up a tree by the root and swing it around with its trunk as if it were a toy. Every creature gives way to the elephant; it has no natural enemies.
All ancient armies had infantry and cavalry. But Indian armies had elephantry too, and they were mightiest of all. A trained elephant will not turn back from battle. It would rather die than run away. And when an elephant goes into battle, its strength and endurance are so tremendous that no matter how many arrows find their mark on its body, it ignores them and presses forward gallantly into the thick of the fight.
Why am I telling you about elephants? Because this is how we should go through life, the Buddha says. It’s one of my favorite verses: “Suffer harsh words as an elephant suffers arrows on the battlefield. People are people, often ill-natured.”
This is the authentic keynote of the Buddha. He doesn’t pretend that everyone is divine, everyone an angel. He says, “Frankly speaking, most people lack courtesy. You can expect to be hurt. But you have a say in how much you are hurt – and how you are going to respond. Be like an elephant, the mightiest of creatures. Shrug off harsh words and move on.”
In other words, the Buddha is saying, we should be prepared for a certain amount of impoliteness and discourtesy in personal relationships, not because people are bad but because they can't control their minds – just like us.
This is a remarkable point. Just think: you don’t have to be upset in an upsetting situation! All of us have times when life doesn’t bother us and other times when one wrong word sets us off like a volcano. What makes the difference? Only our state of mind – which we are learning to control.
This is the benefit of practicing kindness, and the implication is revolutionary. If we want not to be upset by rude words and unkind behavior, the answer is for us to be courteous and kind. It may not have an immediate effect on those around us, but with practice it becomes a shield so strong that other people’s behavior will not bother us at all.